I realize "New Beginnings" is a rather cliche blog title, but in our first year of marriage (a.k.a. as Newlyweds) Dave and I have tackled a new custody arrangement for Jonah, a new baby on the way, a new job, a new home in a new city in a new state, and frankly, what feels like a whole new life. Maybe blogging in and of itself is a little cliche, but considering our families are scattered all across the country, it may be a good way to keep in touch. Besides, someone recently posted on Facebook that they began blogging after the birth of their first child and said it was one of the best things they could have done. It's like an online baby book and journal all in one!
As I write this, Dave should be about 5 minutes into his very first lecture as an Assistant Biology Professor at Indiana University of Pennsylvania. He was feeling a little nervous about it, but I know he will do great. Anyone with a PhD in Biology knows how difficult it is to get a job in the world of academics. It took about 2-3 years of job searching before we (he) landed on this one, and I have to say, it seems like a great fit so far! The faculty have been absolutely wonderful at welcoming us to the university and to the community. From what everyone has told me, they are very excited to have Dave in the department and to see what new dynamics he can bring to the Biology program. There are so many ups and downs in the job searching process (lots of downs, unfortunately...), but sometimes life has a way of working itself out and makes it worth the agonizing wait. I hope this is the case for us! So far it seems to be.
Speaking of which, I can't help but feel incredibly lucky to have found the rental house we are currently living in. Decent home rentals around here are hard to come by, so I had almost resigned myself to the fact that we would end up crammed in a 2 bedroom apartment somewhere surrounded by rowdy college students. Thankfully, I happened upon this house and we love it so far! It is already feeling like home. We have a great front porch, a garden in the back yard that was teeming with blueberries and yellow squash, and Jonah and the new baby will both be able to have their own bedrooms. On an almost daily basis I think to myself, "Oh my God, we could be in an apartment right now!" Or, "Oh my God, if we had a mortgage right now we would be in major trouble!" I know, I know, renting isn't exactly a great investment. It isn't an investment at all. But with the cost of living around here and all of the additional costs that go along with being a home owner, I know we have made the right choice. Plus, we couldn't ask for better landlords! They live right across the street and have 4 kids ranging in age from 7-18. The 3 older boys do all of our yard work for us and will shovel our driveway in the winter (SCORE!), and Jonah has already become buddies with their 7 year old daughter. I wasn't sure how Jonah would feel about having another girl in his life considering all of his girl cousins, but the two of them got along right away! I think having 3 older brothers has made her somewhat of a tomboy, and it is amazing the level of energy those two kids have when they get together! We feel incredibly lucky.
I mentioned the new custody arrangement for Jonah. It has, and will continue to be, a difficult adjustment for us. From the time Jonah was 1 year old, Dave had primary physical custody. However, with us relocating to a new state and after a long and painful court battle, Dave and Amanda now have joint legal and physical custody. This isn't a complete loss since Dave still will have the same custodial rights as before, but along with this custodial change the court order says that Jonah is to continue going to school in Mishawaka, IN with his mom. Obviously, this greatly cuts into our time with him. During the school year we are to have him every other weekend, every Spring Break, and alternate holidays. We have him for the majority of the summer, which is great, but it is tough to see him so little during the school year. It will be especially difficult with us now living 6 and 1/2 hours from Jonah's mom. It's a long drive for the little guy to make twice in a weekend, and a long drive for us, too!
We are trying to remain as positive as we can. We will still see him consistently and be a part of his life, and when we do see him it will be at times where we can really have quality time with him. Additionally, Jonah is very lucky to have 3 parents who love him as much as we do. Although it is difficult to share your child (as the judge said, you can't "split the baby!"), we can take comfort in knowing that Jonah having healthy relationships with both (all) parents is truly in his best interest. At this point in time, the court order is encouraging just that. After an ugly couple of years, I hope we can all move forward in a more positive manner for Jonah's sake. Plus, we know Jonah is in a good school district. And who knows what will happen as he gets older? Once he turns 13 or 14 he can decide where he wants to live, and who knows what the circumstances will be at that time? All I can hope is that, again, Jonah has healthy relationships with his family on both sides. That is truly what is best for him.
The other obvious "new beginning" for us is our little one on the way! I had a sonogram yesterday and we got a pretty good look at our baby boy's little face! So crazy! I am actually measuring a little small, meaning according to this sonogram I should be due on September 28. (My due date is actually September 21.) Who knows what this could mean? They told us that babies often go through varying growth spurts, so he could catch up and still be born on time. It still blows my mind that our baby could come in a matter of weeks. Up to this point it has been this far off event. All year Dave and I have been taking things one big event at a time: "Let's find a job, then we'll worry about the next thing." "Let's sell the house, then we'll worry about the next thing." "Let's get through the custody trial, then we'll worry about the next thing." "Let's move to Pennsylvania, then we'll worry about the next thing." "Let's start the new job, then we'll worry about the next thing." Well, now baby is the next thing!
Last weekend we attended our first birthing class. It was a really long class full of great information. Both Dave and I learned a lot! I wouldn't say it put me at ease though....childbirth is obviously a very painful, tiring, messy process. Whoever said that childbirth is "beautiful" is a damn liar! I mean, I can get on board with "miraculous" or "amazing." But beautiful?! It's anything but!! I will say, every time they showed the mom holding their baby for the first time I had to choke back tears. Maybe that is where they get the term "beautiful." But the actually birthing process? No no no no no.
Serious moms, weren't you scared? I wanted to make it as easy as possible on myself so I have been mentally prepared my entire pregnancy to get an epidural. Well! Did you know they actually turn it off right before the hardest part (transition and pushing)?!?! And it often makes your labor last significantly longer than if you went without it?! Ooof. Now I don't know what to do. I guess baby will make those decisions for me, depending on how the labor goes. Bottom line: I have no idea what to expect and therefore have no idea what choices I will make in the heat of the moment. Really, I don't know how much I care as long as the end result is a healthy baby, healthy mama, and healthy family. That's all I can hope for.
Well I know an all-text post is boring, so next time I will try to include some photos. We are still working on the nursery, but I am hoping to have it finished soon. When I do, I will be sure to post some pictures!
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